Or, why the way things are worded matters. Enjoy!
In a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
In a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs
In an office:
After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board
Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything--bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
In a restroom:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
Notice in a health food store window:
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a safari park (Adding a comma really isn't hard, folks!):
Elephants please stay in your car
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor
Notice in a farmer's field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything (please knock hard on the door--the bell doesn't work)
Thanks, Uncle Jerry, for forwarding this email!